Break Down

Last week was one of the longest weeks of my life. My list of to do's was long and growing longer each day and I was nearing 37 weeks and no where prepared to have this baby come. I thought I was handling it well until my doctors appointment on Wednesday.

The previous week I was dialated to a 1 and not effaced at all. That didn't surprise me because I'd always been a one with my two previous pregnancies (with Jared I stayed a one until induced two days over, Spencer I was a one until 39 weeks I was a two and then 40 weeks and two days I was a 4 also the day I had him). So at my 37 week appointment I assumed I'd still be a 1 but effaced a little as well. Well I was effaced 50% but I was also a 2. Now I know this really doesn't mean anything and I can still be late like I was with the other two boys but it freaked me out a little. My body is definitely getting ready to have this little guy and I was no where ready for him to be here!

I won't even be able to brush the surface of what I was dealing with but I'll list a few of the big things that were overwhelming me:

-Luckily we'd bought a van the Saturday before but were running into registration issues that our sales man didn't catch. (That mistake cost me about 6 hours of correcting one day with my boys might I add!)

-bringing out baby clothes, crib, blankets and everything else I needed to have for him to come home to. The only problem was I didn't have anywhere to put it! I needed to reorganize and buy new things, but what!? I didn't know how I wanted to do it. I couldn't even put the crib up cause I couldn't figure out how to put it in our room.

-We have a lot of stuff at our house right now from friends that have moved and were going to get rid of it cause they couldn't find anyone to take it. We told them to bring it to our house so we could find people in our ward who would need these items. Well the stuff was just sitting pretty much where it was put when dropped off and it was just a maze walking through our basement.

-A husband who is really busy at work and doesn't even get Saturdays off right now. And he just gave me a forewarning that he might be gone for the third week in September for work. GREAT!!!

So all of this plus more just hit me hard on Wednesday after my appointment and I think I randomly started crying three times throughout the day (I tried to hide from the boys when it happened.)

By the time Chris came home I was feeling a little better. We put down the boys and I went to do a Relief Society visit to a new sister in the ward. After wards I took advantage of kidless shopping and hit a few stores. One of which was Home Depot. Who knew Home Depot would be the healing and comfort I needed that night. While checking out the ladies working asked about the baby and I told them it was my third boy. A lot of times when I make the comment of it being another boy or how close they all will be I often say I'm crazy. I think I say that more because that's what I feel people think, but really I'm excited to have three boys so close together! So instead that night I was excited about it and told them I wouldn't have it any other way even though it WILL be crazy! They in return were so supportive and excited for me and made me feel on top of the world. I walked away proud to be a mom of three boys and excited to meet our newest addition regardless of the state of my home.

When I came home Chris told me about his fiasco with putting Spencer to bed. He's crawled out of his crib countless times during the day when playing but never at night or during naps. Well that night he decided he didn't want to go to bed and came up three times before Chris locked the door and let him cry himself to sleep. So when I got home Chris told me to go see where he was and put him back in his bed. He hadn't been down to check on him but he did after I came up for the camera. This is what we found: Spencer had turned on the light and eventually crawled into bed with Jared. Again I was in love with my "job" and was so grateful for the little moments I was having that evening.

Between then and now I have been a busy bee and feel this baby can come. I've organized my home and bought two new dressers (even the stuff that's here short term is put somewhere so it's not so awkward), I've dug out the baby items and washed and put them away. Reorganized our room and put up the crib. I've even started putting together my hospital bag and starting to think about getting Jared ready for preschool.

I in no means have everything done that I want to have done before our baby arrives but I can now go through the day without a break down. I don't like stress but it really helps you get things done (I was surprised at how much I could do even with this belly in the way:)