Bedtime Conversations

A couple nights ago when I was laying down by the boys we had the following conversation (it's not really funny or anything but it was fun because both boys were really interested in what the other had to say.) I've forgotten bits and pieces but here's what I remember:

S: My name didn't go on the yellow space today

Me: Oh good, has it ever been on yellow?

S: No (I totally believe this, he'd be so distraught if he was ever moved to yellow)Me

Me: Jared what happens when your name goes to red?

J: Then you don't get a sticker

Me: Have you ever had your name on red?

J: No... I don't think so.

(I know he's been sent to the thinking chair before so I'm guessing he has.)

S: I was the line leader today and a boy cut in line

J: Did you cut back in front of him?

S: No

Me: What could you have done?

S: I could have said, "Excuse me" (which he said with the cutest, sweetest voice)

It's great when we talk about pre-school together. Jared totally gets into it with Spencer and it's like he's trying to give Spencer advice. Spencer has turned a corner where he is talking and singing all the time. He used to be a lot more quiet or I'd have to pry to get information from him. Now he's eager to share his preschool experiences with me even more than Jared was at his age which I never thought possible.

Another bedtime conversation:

Tonight when I put the boys down I asked them if I could lay by each of them for a few minutes. When I layed by Jared he started talking about the time this summer when Chris and I left to go look for a lost cousin. He told me that whenever he thinks about that he wants to cry (when we came back from looking he was sobing and scared about us being gone.) I told him I used to be scared when I was little about being away from my mom. I didn't tell him how scared though (whenever I heard an ambulance at school I'd race home to make sure my mom was ok and it took years for me to spend the night at a friends house because I didn't like leaving her.) Part way through Jared and my conversation Spencer poked his head over us and asked, "When's it my turn to talk to you?" My intention of laying by them was to soothe them, not stimulate them, but I didn't mind tonight. When I layed by Spencer he spoke up right away:

S: Why do people smoke?

Me: Because they think it's cool, they like the way it makes them feel, maybe their parents smoke, or because a friend asks them to smoke

S: If they asked me to smoke I'd say no and give it back

Me: Yes, say no thank you and give it back

J: I'd take it from them and throw it on the ground and stomp on it.

Me: You should be polite Jared.

S: The only thing we should borrow should be toys... (from here he goes on a long tangent of toys and breaking them and not being nice and buying new ones and more; I zoned out for a bit)

Tonight Jared told me he wanted to smoke really bad; not what a parent wants to hear. We talked about it for a little bit. I wanted to scare him out of it by saying something like, "Don't you EVER think about that again, " or "If I ever hear of you smoking..." But I knew this wasn't the answer. But I did want to talk about it briefly and move on. And then the thought, prompting, came to me, "Talk to him now! Take the time." I turned to look at him and his eyes were searching mine. I wasn't sure where we were going to go from here but I felt like I needed to drop everything I was doing and be at his complete disposal. I started by talking about the word of wisdom our Church believes in which got us talking about alcohol.

During that conversation he asked what it felt like to drink alcohol. I started to try and explain and decided to do a quick google since I really don't know. But because of our prior conversation I was thinking smoking and googled that instead. I found this site that I really liked and we listened to all of it. He was totally into and asking questions. We then went to the section on alcohol and listened to half of it before he lost interest. I felt like these links were very informative and can be used for a variety of ages (This site is made for teens.) During the alcohol section it says 80% of highschoolers experiment with alcohol. Right when they said that Jared said, "Except dad!" I thought that was cute.

It's crazy that he's only five, almost six, and already these topics are emmerging. Early in the week he really wanted to know how babies came out of the mother. I was starting to try to explain it when Spencer distracted him with something else and I didn't remind him of it later. Kids learn things so early. In my mind I want to say he's years away from some of this stuff but he's not. He said he still wants to smoke. He thinks it looks cool but he's gaining an understanding of why we shouldn't. I didn't like the fact he wanted to smoke still after our nice discussion but at least he was honest with me and didn't tell me what I wanted to hear. Stay young my little man, stay young...