Faith

Almost three years ago in January my dad suffered from a massive stroke. I remember walking into his hospital room overcome with emotion. There laid my dad motionless and very ill where only less than a month earlier he was holding my new little Jared and enjoying being a grandfather. The doctors were confused as to why this had happened. He used to have high blood pressure, and high cholesterol but had been able to control it through diet and exercise. His veins had little to no build up but somehow a single little clot was able to wreck havoc to his entire body. How could something so harsh be done to such a wonderful man? He loved life, he wanted to serve missions, he wanted a wood shop to build his grandchildren toys. The week or maybe even the night before the stroke he told my mom, “I love life! I love my grandchildren, I love my calling (1st counselor in stake presidency), and I love work!”

The stroke was on the left side of his brain where his speech and right arm were affected the most and also his right leg. This left him with little movement of his arm and severely limiting his speech. Being optimistic, we asked the doctor when he'd get better, what to expect. His reply, "You're lucky he's even alive."

I remember making several trips home during the first month following the stroke and becoming overjoyed with each accomplishment he was making (swallowing, making vowel sounds, standing with support and many other small simple things). During these visits I was also overcome with emotion by the amount of support we received. Countless visitors, cards, phone calls, meals, ect came forth showing their love, support, and respect for my dad.

One evening in particular I remember I stayed the night in my dad's room so my mom could go home and sleep. While sitting by his bed I could tell he was trying to tell me something but I couldn't understand him. Finally I knew he was singing I am a Child of God. So then through tears I sang with him this beautiful children's song. He bore to me a powerful witness of his love for the Savior and of His love for him. I felt and knew of my father's testimony and knew he was feeling the Savior's presence throughout this ordeal.

We were going to beat this! And through love, faith, prayers, and lots of support we would tackle the giant that laid in front of us.

I wanted so badly for a instant miracle to come and heal my dad. I think secretly I was hoping by the coming September he would be able to stand before the stake and speak to them one last time before being released for the 11 years of service.

But September came, he bore his simple, strong testimony in his limited speech and sat down. Why wasn't he being healed? He definitely was making progress but he was so limited! How badly I yearned to talk to my dad and hear his voice and counsel. The way his voice sounded before the stroke still rings crystal clear in my head and how I miss it!

Faith is such an interesting topic. Did my family not have enough faith? I didn't question my father's faith so why wasn't he being healed? I struggled for awhile until October '06 I gave a talk in sacrament meeting and based it off of Brother Simmons talk "But if Not...". What a powerful talk and how perfect for me to hear/read.

Below is a portion of the talk:

We must have the same faith as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego.

Our God will deliver us from ridicule and persecution, but if not. … Our God will deliver us from sickness and disease, but if not … . He will deliver us from loneliness, depression, or fear, but if not. … Our God will deliver us from threats, accusations, and insecurity, but if not. … He will deliver us from death or impairment of loved ones, but if not, … we will trust in the Lord.

Our God will see that we receive justice and fairness, but if not. … He will make sure that we are loved and recognized, but if not. … We will receive a perfect companion and righteous and obedient children, but if not, … we will have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, knowing that if we do all we can do, we will, in His time and in His way, be delivered and receive all that He has.

The Lord is all powerful and all knowing. If it was his will to heal my dad I know it would've happened. It's like the saying my mom has on a picture that goes something like, "Sometimes the Lord calms the storm and sometimes the Lord calms His child in the storm."

I think we all came to a point where we still knew our dad could be healed if that was God's will but we accepted the fact that he may not. I think especially as time goes on we've accepted that maybe all the "big" miracles have happened (and many did occur).

But the miracles did not stop. Over a month ago after my parents story was told to the Temple Square president the president told them to put in their papers and they would be called. Obediently they put in their papers and requested the Temple Square Mission. As my mom filled out the paper work she said she marked no on almost everything of my dad:"Can you stand for long periods of time?" "Can you Speak?" "Can you write?"...

Awhile later they received their call to the Family and Church History Mission in Salt Lake and were to report on December 5th.

Today my parents talked in church before leaving for their mission. I was unable to attend but all through my meetings my heart and mind were thinking of them and the spirit of today. Who would have thought my dad, after his stroke, would be serving a 23 month mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? Miracles are still happening and will continue to happen for this wonderful man and woman. It has been a TougH journey for them! I'm so proud of their examples and commitment to the church and their family.

I may not have been able to be there in person today but I have felt the spirit witness of their testimonies and spirit. I love you mom and dad and am SO proud of you: your continual faith, hard work, dedication, and love for each other. I know you guys will be awesome missionaries and Salt Lake is lucky to have you. I'm greatful for your examples and I'm sooooo glad you're my mom and dad! I love you!