Glasses...

Recently I got an email from Jared's school tipping parent's off to a free vision clinic. So this past Friday I loaded up the boys and headed to south side Chicago to check it out and have Jared and Spencer tested. I was very impressed with the process and those testing the boys. I don't know how many different tests they did but it was a lot. In one room alone they both went to at least four different stations. Then we went to another room and they did more there (I'm not sure on how many different tests because they stayed in the same chair but again a lot.) Spencer finished before Jared and was fine. They said his eyes were a little short but this was normal for his age. But if they didn't grow then he would be farsighted so we'd need to keep checking him yearly to make sure his vision is fine.

Jared took longer... I didn't think either boy would need glasses but I was a little nervous for Jared. Sometimes when reading he gets words and letters mixed up, but I thought that was pretty typical for a little kid especially when beginning to read. But it turns out Jared is farsighted and indeed needs glasses. They said he sees far away perfectly but has to work harder to focus on objects up close. Since he is so young he is able to do this fairly well but he's straining a little too much and therefore needs glasses. They said it's not something that will self correct so he'll have glasses for the rest of his life.

When it came time to go look at frames I told him we were going to another room to look at glasses. He adamantly refused. I told him we'd just go look. He begrudgingly went with me and when we got into the room he walked to the opposite side of the room, covered his eyes, and started to cry. I immediately walked over to him, scooped him up, and felt like crying with him. I ran my fingers through his hair and gently whispered in his ear that everything was going to be ok. I told him that lots of people wear glasses and listed lots of people he loves and respects that wear them. He still clung to me and I went and sat by the glasses while he buried his head in my shoulder and neck. I sat there for awhile and told him I was going to look at the glasses and pick the ones that I liked. He didn't have to look at them if he didn't want to but I wanted to see what options he had. After picking out three or four he turned around and started looking at them with me and trying them on. His spirits brightened and was soon smiling and commenting on what he liked or didn't like about the glasses. We narrowed it down to two and then he found a third, light blue, that he liked. He ended up picking those. I liked the other ones better but wanted him to choose what he liked best since this was already hard for him.

From the time I found out he was going to need glasses till leaving I tried calling Chris. He was in a meeting the whole time and I didn't get a hold of him till we'd left. I had wanted his opinion on what style, type of glasses to get. I do not trust myself in fashion; I care, but not enough. When I told him he'd picked light blue he did not agree. So we'll be going back Tuesday to pick the other pair. Jared is fine with getting a different pair. He was mainly upset when I told him because he thought he couldn't start school until he had them (school starts Tuesday).

When we left I tried calling Chris again, no answer. So we called grandmas. We couldn't get a hold of Cherie but Jared told my mom. It was on speaker so I could hear. When he told her she asked him how he felt about it all. He said, "I was a little scared at first, but now I feel better." We were planning on going swimming with friends and were late because of traffic and we were there getting tested for around three hours, a lot longer than I had anticipated and they got us right in too! I didn't talk much more to him about it until we got home. Then I asked him what he was scared about. He said, "I'm afraid I'll look funny." He's not as scared but still apprehensive and nervous.

I've ached and cried. Not because I think glasses are the worst thing but because if i could I'd protect my child from anything: deficiency, pain, sorrow, etc. Miles woke up Saturday night at 2:45 and I got up with him briefly and put him back to bed. But after that I tossed and turned thinking about Jared. Sunday I spent time praying for strength and insight for Jared, Chris and me. I don't want glasses to inhibit Jared's confidence and outgoing personality. So a lot of my prayer was for him to be strong and for me to know how to help him see things in a positive light and to not let it be a negative factor in his relationships, school, or sports. I want him to know he's loved regardless of anything that happens, ever. And I want him to know he can turn to a loving Heavenly Father when he is sad to feel peace and love from Him.

It may seem like I'm making glasses a bigger ordeal than it is. When they first told me he'd need glasses I didn't think much of it. My thoughts were: Lots of people have them and too bad Chris and my genes of good eyesight didn't pass on to him. But when I saw him cry and felt his anguish, my heartstrings twisted and turned in only a way a mother's can. My instinct to protect and comfort triggered and immediately I wished this "trial" away. But we'll take it in strides and I know he'll be fine. I just want him to keep his same sweet, out-going personality regardless of any teasing he may encounter. I love you Jared!

Recent Hair cut Before and After shots

(the longest I've let Jared's hair get before cutting it!)